Which God is Which?
by Dan Rush
Summary: Based on the 1980's episode where Astro's sister seeks to know who god is. Astro and Atlas Boy are contesting to see if god is true or not. If Astro looses, he'll become Atlas's slave and will have to declare Atlas's superiority over humans on live television.
1. Chapter 1

Astro Boy

Which God is which?

An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction

By Dan rush

Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"

Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.

 **Mid-Morning**

 **Metro City Tokyo Hands store.**

Zoran crawled through the chaos and flopped down on a near by step quickly patting herself over to see if she'd been damaged in some way by the insanity before her.

"I don't believe this! They put up a sign that says SALE and every woman within a mile goes insane...Sheesh you'd think they'd have the riot police here by now, how could anyone not expect this to happen every year?"

Somewhere in the chaos of flying clothing and snarling women, Zoran's mother was bravely enduring the crushing madness around her. She latched onto a pair of slacks and drew in another woman through the crowd...

"Oh! Eriko-Chan!" Mrs Atom said smiling.

"Huh?" The larger woman replied. "Sachiko-chan...I didn't know they let robots shop here?"

Noting that at the moment things were becoming a bit too dangerous. Sachiko wrapped an arm around Eriko's shoulder and guided her out of the crush..."What are you doing Sachiko?!"

"The logical thing. Since your daughter and mine are close friends." Mrs Atom said as she got Eriko clear of the crowd. "Your Mauri wouldn't be happy if her mother got injured in all that chaos."

"Speaking of Mauri?..." Eriko said pointing at the crowd.

"I got her." Sachiko replied. "You just sit there and hold on to those slacks."

As Sachiko pushed back into the crowd...little Mauri Nagata crawled her way out and saw Zoran sitting on the steps...

"Hey Zoran!" She waved as she ran up. "What a mess huh?"

"No kidding." Zoran replied. "Is your mom in all that?"

"Like she ever misses a sale. I'm telling you Zoran, some pervert could snatch me right now and my mother would still be throwing punches over a 100 yen pair of socks."

Zoran stood tapping her foot. "Sounds like my mom too. She practically put my clothes on inside/out trying to get out the door this morning. Grown ups are so stupid some times."

"Guess you're lucky you'll never be one." Mauri replied. "Hey...let's go upstairs till the police come and bust this up?"

The two girls jumped onto the escalator and rode it up to the second floor. "You know Zoran...you're kinda like an escalator."

Zoran smirked back. "And I bet you're gonna tell me why?"

"Well it's a machine right?" Mauri replied. "You're a robot and my father says robots are machines."

"Sure..." Zoran replied. "But what's your point? I mean...Humans could be machines if you looked at them a certain way don't you think or were you even paying attention in class last week?"

Mauri snickered back..."Not quite...see...we humans have a soul whereas you robots, like escalators, have only programming which we humans developed to give you the look of being alive."

Zoran jumped from the moving stairs and crossed her arms..."I am alive Mauri...stop talking like a dufus. And while I might be a machine like that escalator, my programming is more advanced and I have advanced intelligence so I'm way out of the way of being like an escalator."

"Oh...you're blowing a rubber o-ring seal again Zoran I mean think about it...look at these toys over here." Mauri took Zoran by the hand to a pair of small robot toys dueling with swords..."You're just like these toys and they have advanced A.I. Too you know. My father says that robots even with advanced A.I. Are just machines without a soul who do what their programmed to do."

"He's wrong." Zoran replied stomping a foot. "I swear Mauri, your Dad's a big mouth. You know me better than that...am I really a stupid escalator to you?"

Mori shook her hands..."No way! Actually you're more a glorified vending machine."

Zoran stomped hard! "And do you know what you are you chowder-head?!"

"Woe! Chowder-head...that's advanced vocabulary even for you Zoran." Mauri snickered. "So what Am I Zoran?"

"You're..." Zoran thought..."You're..." Then Zoran started to look around her until something scurrying under a display case. Suddenly the little robot girl turned into a bulldozing wrecking machine through the toy section of the store!

Mauri stood in shock as surprised people stood beside her..."She's lost her lid!"

After knocking over four display cases full of models and toys, Zoran grabbed what she was looking for and pushed it into Mauri's face. "That's what you are Mauri!"

The six year old girl screamed..."A cockroach! I'm a cockroach to you?!"

"I'm not calling you one!" Zoran replied. "Only that you're living like one."

"And you're a loony bot Zoran!"Mauri snapped back. "I'm telling my mother what you called me!"

"Good! Be sure to tell her you called me a stupid escalator!" Zoran yelled before she suddenly realized the mess she did to the toy section..."Wow...I kinda went a little too far."

 **11am Saturday**

 **Atom house**

Astro hovered in the air holding a piece of plywood over his head and against the ceiling for the new house addition his father was building...

"So dad...what exactly are we going to do with this room?" Astro asked as his father came up a ladder with a nail gun.

"You have any ideas?" Astro's robot father Kensuki replied

"A guest room for my friends...no...no a study room!" Astro said excitedly.

Kensuki smirked. "You mean a game room. I know you're not lying to me son but I know your friends would talk you into sneaking an X- Box when you should be studying for exams."

Just then..."Slam!"...Zoran came through the front door, slammed it hard enough to shake the house and climbed the stairs to her room on the second floor snorting and huffing angrilly to herself..."Dufus! What does Mauri know? God this and that...why I have a mind to talk to this God of hers and slap him silly if I could find him! UGH! Mauri is such a stupid chowder headed...and don't blame me for all the mess at the store...I was the one who got insulted by a stupid dufus!"

"SLAM!"

Astro and his Dad froze as Mrs Atom walked in and flopped into a chair...

"Mom? You ok?" Astro asked as he climbed down from the ladder and Kensuki grabbdd an un-opened can of oil off the kitchen table...

"How was the sale?" Kensuki asked her.

"The maddness or our daughter the demolition expert?" Sachiko replied wiping her face. "Zoran trashed the toy section on the second floor.

"Told you she needs a child leash mom." Astro said shrugging.

"Any way...she called Mauri-chan a cockroach and it all went downhill fast from there. I didn't know our little girl had such a lively vocabulary."

Astro rubbed his head. "What didn't she destroy?"

"Well now she's very upset from the fight she and Mauri had. Mauri called her a soul-less machine that will wind up in a junk yard while the humans go to heaven and now Zoran wants to find out who God is."

Astro looked out the window of the living room and saw a man push his way angrily through the front gate and walk up to the front door. "Don't look now but a fire breathing dragon's pounding at the door."

"Oh no...Mauri-chan's father." Sachiko sighed.

Astro answered the door. "Good morning Mister Umichika."

"Don't good morning me. Where is that loud mouth little robot? I'm going to give her a piece of my mind."

Astro blocked the man's path. "Maybe before you come stomping through our house, you should take a moment to breath and relax."

Astro's parents came up behind him. "We're very sorry for our little girl's behavior." They said...much to Astro's moaning.

"She needs to apologize to my Mauri." Mister Umichika commanded. "My daughter is all upset at being compared to a dirty cockroach."

Suddenly...Zoran stomped out of her room and down the stairs. "I'm not apologizing for anything! Mauri needs to apologize for comparing me to a stupid escalator!"

Astro caught her by the arm..."Don't make things much worse Zoran."

"Why aren't you defending me big brother? Mauri-chan was clearly wrong. I only compared her to a cockroach because she's a living thing like one and then she makes me feel bad but I have to bow to her?! No!" Zoran stomped her foot. "And what right did Mauri have to say I would be on a trash pile while she went to heaven! Who does she think she is?!"

Astro's parents tried to reason with Mister Umichika but the man threw an accusing finger..."She spoke the truth...you robots don't have souls, you weren't created by God but by humans therefore you're not even living beings."

Astro frowned..."Well Zoran was right on two things. Number one you are the same as cockroaches in that you are living flesh but we're all the same regardless because everything is made of Atoms...right Dad?" Astro asked turning to his father.

"Yes...my son is right. We are all made of Atoms." Kensuki said. That remark got Umichika fuming...

"You robots are all the same! Your children are un-disciplined brats and you're all equally crazy!" Umichika snapped.

"Well you're about a dumb as a rock and as worthless as a paperweight without any paper to weight down!" Zoran snapped...much to the shock of her parents.

"Zoran Atom!" Sachiko reacted. "You apologize right now!"

"Why?!" Zoran snapped. "He's insulting us! Big brother...don't let him say such mean things to us!"

Umichika snorted. "I've said enough...you! Are not to go near my daughter ever again! If I so much as see you peep at her? I'll call the police!"

Astro got between his family and the angry man. "I think you've said more than enough Mister Umichika. I'll make sure Zoran stays away from Mauri-chan but you should leave so we don't have any more trouble."

Umichika turned and walked out leaving Astro to close the door and hold his smarting head..."Ugh...that was unpleasant."

"Unpleasant?" Zoran snorted. "What was unpleasant was watching my big brother act like a coward! You should have ripped into that stupid man! Why should we have to apologize to him for anything!"

Sachiko took her daughter's hand and slapped it hard. "Young lady! You must understand that it is not our place to create arguments and seek fights...even when we are insulted, the law doesn't give robots the right to fight back because of the potential troubles it could cause both humans and us."

Astro raised a finger. "Sis...Mauri's father believes that humans are superior to robots, a lot of people do and they will always try to pick fights with us to prove their point so we are better off not to get sucked into a brawl."

Zoran pouted. "But I just don't get it...why should we let them stomp on us? Atlas doesn't let humans push him around and compared to my whimpy big brother...he's just more cool."

Zoran's father waved his finger at her. "Zoran...you must understand that humans made us who we are and without them we would not be here. Our purpose in life is to be a benefit to them not antagonists."

"Oh yeah?" Zoran chirped. "Well if they created us then who created them? I'd like to know so I can give those people a comment card on how they messed up."

Sachiko looked at her husband. "Father? Who did make humans?"

Kensuki shrugged. "You know? I never gave it a thought. After all...Zoran is kind of correct when she said humans are machines in their own way...someone must have made them."

Astro tapped his head. "There's two different thoughts about humans...one is evolution and the other is God."

Zoran smirked. "Evolution sounds about right since humans act like stupid monkies to begin with. If you ask me that whole idea is stupid. So tell me about God big brother? I think humans being made like robots is more factual than them coming from apes."

Astro shrugged his shoulders. "I'm afraid I'm not as smart as you think Zoran."

"But you're top of the line Astro...you should be able to find out who God is right? I mean why does Doctor O'Shay spend so much money on you all the time?" Zoran begged.

Astro smiled. "So I can look sexy."

"Oh! You dufus!" Zoran hit Astro on the chest. "You're being mean to me like always!"

"Ok Zoran!" Astro begged. "Look...we'll go see Doctor O'Shay and talk to him about this."

 **Ministry of Science**

 **1pm Saturday**

Doctor O'Shay leaned back in his office chair and sratched his large nose..."You want to know where God lives, Zoran? Why?"

"Well...I want to talk to him about why he made humans and why robots have been excluded from heaven." Zoran replied. Behind her...Astro was shifting his feet around and looking all over the office trying to not get blamed for his sister's stubbornness. The Doctor could see Astro was agitated...

"Zoran...you're asking a very difficult question of me. God is different to many people around the world and none of them are certain where he actually resides."

Zoran snorted. "That's not possible...how can you have a billion different ideas about God? It makes no sense at all, I may be young and less powerful than Astro but I'm not that stupid."

Doctor O'Shay tried to calm her down..."Zoran...many humans believe that GOD resides in the heart..."

Zoran jumped from her chair and tried to pull Doctor O'Shay's dress coat apart! "Is that true?!" She yelped. "Then come out of there God, you and I need to talk!"

Astro pulled Zoran off Doctor O'Shay..."Zoran! Cut it out!"

"I'm not done!" Zoran snapped as Astro carried her on a shoulder. "I'm gonna get my two cents in with you GOD if its' the last thing I do! I have complaints! You need to recall the humans! I'll call the consumer product safety administration and get a defective complaint against you I swear!"

Astro dropped Zoran on her butt on the grass outside the ministry. "Now that's enough Zoran! We asked Doctor O'Shay and he gave us his best answer. You'll just have to be satisfied with that."

"Well I'm not!" Zoran huffed. "What right does Mauri have to say we're just junk big brother? I want to know what God thinks! I want an explanation as to why he made humans so defective...I lost my best friend because of all this and her dumb father and I wanna know why!"

Astro sighed..."Zoran? Please...what can I do?"

"You can find out who the real God is, can't you big brother?" Zoran begged.

"But what you're asking for is very hard Zoran. You're asking me to take a long time in doing something where the results might be a disapointment to you."

Zoran pleaded. "Please Astro? Big brother I know you can do it. Please?"

Astro rubbed his head. "Alright...alright...I will try to find out who the real God is but no matter what? If I bring you something you may not like hearing...you have to agree with it, do you understand?"

Zoran nodded.

"Alright then...you have to be patient with this ok? Promise me?"

"I promise." Zoran replied. Astro looked up and sighed when she turned her head...

"Oh what the robot hell did I just do to myself?" He thought as as shook his head.

 **Evening**

Atom House

"Beep..." "How dare you stand me up when I challenge you! You better be ready when I get to your house Astro because they'll need a microscope to find your remains!"

Landing on the lawn of the house...Atlas was fit to be tied. The red colored, yellow haired boy bot was in a fume producing rage as he stomped up to the Atom family front door and rang the bell...

"Open the stupid door someone." Atlas stood groaning to himself. "Wonder what human activity this moron has his "family" doing?"

Zoran opened the door and almost did a hillarious "pee dance" before her idol. "You're here in the flesh! "giggles"..."In real life you're a bigger hunk than I thought!"

Atlas scowled at Zoran. "I don't have flesh...now where is that stupid dufus you call a brother?"

"He's in his room...but I think he needs to be left alone." Zoran said as she got out of the way of Atlas as he walked into the house and stood stomping a foot...

"I don't care if he's playing a harp in his room. You go up there and tell him that Atlas is down here angry and if he continues to spur my challenges? I will totally destroy this house, your cars and anything else you think is important!"

Zoran hauled off and smacked Atlas in the face! The boldness of her move caused Atlas to stand in shock..."You?...you smacked me..."

"I should punch you for being rude!" Zoran snapped. "I've had a really bad day and if you continue to be a jerk? I'll have a really bad day and then I'll give you a bad day! Now sit down and shut your stupid mouth!"

Atlas wisely found a chair. "That's the first time anyone ever really stood up to me."

"What?" Zoran snorted. "My big brother stands up to you all the time."

Atlas shook his head. "Actually no...he spends more time trying to talk himself out of punishment for being a stupid dufus. But I will not hit you because you are a small girl."

"Watch the insults Jack!" Zoran huffed. "I'll go get Astro and you two cave dwelling boys can go outside and beat each other stupid like always."

Atlas sat thinking what he would say to Astro as Sachiko came by him with the laundry..."Hello Atlas." She said with a smile.

"Hello Mrs Atom." Atlas replied.

"Sigh..." The woman robot said..."What is it this time?"

Atlas tapped his fingers on the side of the chair. "I was wrongly defamed on the news by Astro..."

Sachiko waved a finger. "Now please...don't do any serious damages?"

"Maybe a busted arm this time." Atlas snickered. "To re-pay him for chucking that stupid baseball into my teeth."

Zoran came down from the second floor..."He says he has no time for your stupid games...he's busy...go home."

Atlas slapped his leg with a hand. "Oh yeah! Why that stupid...human hugging... worthless pile of scrap!" And hopped off his chair...

Zoran threw her arms out. "Not in our house!"

Atlas stopped and glared at her..."I'll try to be careful." He said smiling an evil grin before walking up the stairway..."I'll try not to mess the wall paper up...can't say much for super dork up there though." The red boy bot stomped determined up the steps to Astro's bedroom door where he pounded on the door frame...

"GET OUT HERE! ASTRO! I DEMAND YOU FACE ME! I CHALLENGE YOU!" Atlas yelled...

"Come on in but I'm not fighting you tonight." Astro replied, the tone enough to cause Atlas to stomp inside, slam the door behind him and take up a commanding if not funny looking heroic posture...

"You have insulted me for the last time Astro! Get out of that stupid chair and fight me!" Atlas snapped.

Astro turned in his study chair and sighed..."I don't have time for this Atlas...I'm sort of buried in research right now unless your eyes are not working?"

Atlas looked at the mountains of books around the desk and snorted. "Hmph...I can wait on you any day. Just what kind of silly thing are you doing anyways? Is this another assignment from your pimp?"

Astro snapped. "Doctor O'Shay is not a pimp you creep!"

"Oooo...touched a nerve huh?" Atlas snickered. "Come on...just a five minute fist fight on the lawn or are you afraid I'll beat you bad like the last time?"

Astro snorted. "I said...I'm not interested in your little antics Atlas! I have a lot to do...now go away."

Atlas crossed his arms..."So what are you doing that's more important than say...preventing me from trashing your BMX bike by the garage?"

"Obviously it's more important than that." Astro replied.

Just to be an annoyance...Atlas walked up to the study desk and snatched a few of the books piled around it..."Hmph?...Islam? Greek Gods? Central American mythos? What's this all about?"

"I'm trying to find out who God is and where I can find him." Astro replied.

Atlas gave him a blank look..."You're...trying to do what?"

"I'm trying to find out who God is and where I can find him." Astro replied.

Atlas shook his head..."Are you freeking kidding me?

"What?" Astro asked. "I'm doing it for my sister."

Atlas chuckled..."You're trying to find God and where he lives? I thought you were a few screws loose but now? You're proving to be just as stupid as I think you are!"

Astro jumped from his chair. "What does that mean?!"

"That you're an idiot." Atlas huffed. "God? Are you so ill informed and clueless Astro? God doesn't exist! Any robot knows that's a fact."

Astro stomped a foot. "And how do you know?"

"Because...if he did exist? He would show himself..."Hey God?! Hello? God?" Atlas walked around Astro's room calling God and then shrugged his shoulders..."See? Problem solved. Now stop this stupid stuff and lets go, I demand you fight me now!"

Astro returned to his desk and looked through another book...

"Slap!" Atlas slammed the book closed. "What did I just get through telling you?! Stop this stupid nonsense and let's fight!"

Astro remained calm even as he felt Atlas breathing on his neck..."I'm not going to fight you right now because my little sister is very upset and while she's upset? I'm going to do everything I can to make her not upset. You can sit down and maybe be a little helpful or you can leave." Astro opened the book again and started reading it...

"Ugh..." Atlas moaned with a shudder..."Don't you get it? Humans make up this "god" thing for all kinds of reasons. They need to explain the elements, have reason for earthquakes, floods and disasters, have some sort of moral guideline...are you programmed right or do you enjoy flying blind all the time?"

Astro turned in his chair and pushed a finger into Atlas's nose. "Ok! Prove there is no God!"

"What?" Atlas replied stunned.

"You harp on me because I want to find God...so back up your stupid trap and prove to me there is no God...prove it or shut up." Astro commanded.

"What did I just get through trying to explain?!" Atlas replied frustrated. "Are you dense? I just told you why humans cook up this god thing, don't you get it?"

"Atlas?...prove it or shut up." Astro huffed. "Ok...ok...just to sweeten the deal here, you know what I'll do if you can positively prove god does not exist? I'll get on television, tell everyone that you're 100 percent right as far as humans and then I promise to be your slave...nothing perverted though! I'll do anything you want."

Atlas smiled. "I've already got a collar and leash that will fit you."

Astro grabbed a book and pushed it into Atlas's chest..."Might as well start then. You want a pizza?"

"Yeah..." Atlas replied. "This is going to be the easiest victory I ever had against you."

Astro waved a hand. "Yeah...yeah...blah...blah...you get to start with Greek Mythology."

 **One hour later...**

"Hmmmm..." Atlas said as he lay on his back reading the book on Greek Mythology. "What's the textbook definition of a god again?"

Astro replied. "According to Websters...God is a being perfect in power, wisdom and goodness who is worshiped as the creator and ruler of the universe."

Atlas threw the book aside..."So much for the Greeks."

"That easy?" Astro asked as Atlas sat up.

"Well look at them...especially Zeus...I mean...he was an unfaithful, adulterating pervert. Sheesh...the guy raped a woman in the guise of a bull."

Astro grabbed the book. "What? Our history teacher in school didn't mention that." Astro read the pages and put the book down. "ugh...now I have sicko furry thoughts on the brain."

"Obviously Zeus can't be God and how can you have like a gazillion gods for everything? That makes no sense at all, I mean look at the Greek pantheon...they're all backstabbers, murderers, rapists, thieves...sheesh if that were actually god and humans claim they came from god? This world would be messed up more than it is now." Atlas huffed. "See? Absolutely fruitless pursuit, I just proved that god does not exist."

Astro put up a finger as he chewed on a slice of pizza..."Hold on...are you an immortal being?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Atlas huffed.

"To say that god does not exist Atlas, you have to be an immortal being with all knowing powers and since you and I are both robots...and all we know is the information we get from the world...which is not infinite but finite...you can't logically make such a statement that god does not exist." Astro said with a smile.

"I'm starting to seriously hate you." Atlas replied frowning.

"Starting?" Astro wondered. "You've hated me since we met." He grabbed a book on Egyptian mythology. "So...the Egyptian gods are out of it too then?

"By reasoning...yeah." Atlas replied. "So that would toss out a whole slew of human religions like the Vikings, the Hindus, The American Indians, The Inca, The Mayans, the Aztecs, the Toltec..."

Atlas started separating the mountains of books into piles. "Why did you get all these books? We're both walking computers, we could just surf the web and be done with this stupid exercise in like three hours."

"Because I love books." Astro replied. "Or is my room not that obvious?"

"You have human on the brain." Atlas sighed.

Astro closed one book he was skimming through and put his feet up on his study desk. "Answer me this? Who came up with the robot laws?"

"Issac Asimov." Atlas replied. "A robot will always serve humans...(eeesh, stupid) A robot will never harm a human nor will a robot allow a human to come to harm by active thought or neglectful ignorance...yaddah, yaddah..."

"And you follow those laws?" Astro asked.

"Of course." Atlas huffed. "Not happily mind you but I can't go against the laws if I tried."

Astro got up and paced about his room, snatching a baseball off his dresser and throwing it into Atlas's hands...after a bit they naturally threw the ball back and forth...

"Doesn't it upset you that the robot laws were given to us by a human?" Astro asked.

"Upset me?" Atlas snorted. "It ticks me off. How can fleshies give us anything moral when they are such blatant moral hypocrites? What right does any human dare have to tell me how I should act?"

Astro sat back down..."So rightly...we should have been granted the very same behavior that humans do...after all...you have the Omega Factor."

"So what?" Atlas replied. "Even if I have a greater range of emotional freedom and ability than you? I have no right to violate the robot laws. I've never killed a human as much as I wanted to kill Skunk and trust me...I wanted him dead."

"But then...you're violating your own behavior." Astro said with a finger point and a wink. "What's the point of all you've done in the past five years...including busting me up with some very expensive repair bills...if you don't even believe your own principles and willingly follow the principles created by flawed hypocritical humans?"

Atlas shook his head..."What are you getting at?"

Astro tossed another book at Atlas with a book mark in it. "Read where the book mark points..." Astro asked.

"The autobiography of Issac Asimov" Atlas said as he looked at the cover. He then turned the pages till he landed on number 156...

" _When I originally thought about the robot laws for "I robot" I was faced with the question of how to interpret them and the more I wrote in my notes, the more I came to realize that I was going to end up with quite an overtly lengthy story in which so many different concepts of human law could not possibly be fit into the story I was trying to keep as short as possible. Finally I looked back to my Jewish upbringing for inspiration and settled upon the verse of the ten commandments which states "Thou shalt not Kill." and knowing well that Judeo/Christian God is superior to all of man's feeble attempts at moral legislation; I crafted the three laws to the Judeo/Christian God's commands regarding behavior, respect for life and righteous conduct of living. The three laws of robotics are what you could consider the capstone to the much larger complexity required for a sentient machine to exist in co-equality with humans and from these three, the wider context of robot behavior and life mirrors the equitable perfection of Judeo/ Christian God."_

Atlas snapped the book closed. "Oh give me a break!"

"What?!" Astro replied. "You tell me...could Issac Asimov logically have given us the three laws if he were just a human who cooked them up from his own brain?

Atlas stood brooding. "No..."if" I were going off of robot logic. He's no different than any human; they're all liars, cheats, backstabbers and thieves and that's fact."

"But he's a human and he gave us our laws Atlas." Astro said as he stood with his arms out from his sides. "You accept that don't you?"

"He could never have crafted them! The stupid humans can't even agree on what dumb ties to wear or what shoes to put on let alone agree on anything lawful. I know humans who think Asimov is a stupid fool who prohibits us from being weaponized, I know robots who hate him because we believe he's made us weak slaves! Only someone who's not tainted by human stupidity is moral enough..."

Atlas stopped talking..."I'm leaving." He snorted. Astro jumped in front of the door. "No you don't! Don't go blowing me off like you usually do Atlas! What were you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that if you don't get out of my face...I'll beat your face in!" Atlas snapped.

"Atlas?" Astro replied looking deeply sympathetic. "Atlas? Come on...what?"

Atlas sighed deeply..."To give a moral law...you need a moral law giver who can't be corrupted...which means he can't be a human or have any human flaws...which means you need a higher moral law giver...and since we robots got our laws from a human...who seems to have been inspired by some sort of faith..."

Astro smiled..."Yeah?"

"That still doesn't mean there's a god." Atlas snorted.

"Oh for crying out stupid loud Atlas!" Astro huffed. "You just said Asimov could not have created the three laws without some foundation of morality and you don't accept humans as being moral!"

"That doesn't mean there's a god." Atlas huffed.

Astro cringed in frustration then walked to fall on his bed..."Ugh...I need to take a break...my head hurts..And yeah...it actually smarts!"

Atlas walked over and sat on the bed. He took a moment to look around..."Would you mind if I stayed here tonight?"

Astro looked up..."You what?"

"Can I stay here tonight? With you?" Atlas asked. "Just for tonight only...call it a truce."

Astro thought..."Have to ask my parents. You know..."

 **9 pm**

 **Zoran's room...**

Atlas knocked on the door and entered to find Zoran sitting in her bed with her hair down to he shoulders neatly brushed...

"Hello." Atlas said as he walked up. "If I'm a bother, I'll just leave." He then saw the huge poster of himself on a wall, his body curled around like he was about to punch someone into orbit. "Where did that come from?"

Zoran replied smiling. "My brother's processor. I think you slugged him through a building or something." She looked at Atlas's pajamas and giggled..."Wow...Kimba the White Lion? How cute."

"It was the only pair your brother had." Atlas snorted. "I came to talk to you about this problem of yours...especially this "god thing" you put on your brother."

Zoran flopped back on her pillow..."Ugh...Mauri-chan...she text me."

"I thought you hated her?" Atlas asked.

"Like ever." Zoran sighed. "We say dumb things to each other all the time...she says she didn't mean to be so cruel, of course she thinks I'll be welcome in heaven...we're still friends...daddy doesn't want me to see you...Now I kinda see why you can't stand humans."

Atlas frowned. "I can't stand girls especially. I don't know who's worse...flat out humans or human girls and the robots they beguile that are built like girls."

"Are you insulting me?" Zoran snorted.

"No...I'm begging you to go into your brother's room and tell him to stop his stupid nonsense." Atlas huffed. "You got him all screwed up chasing after god and now I'm messed up having to listen to him prattle."

"Well you can forget it." Zoran snorted. "I'm not telling him anything. Once he's committed, he won't quit...so there."

"You're going to let that human girl bother you about something that's just made up?" Atlas asked.

"If it's made up then prove it." Zoran snorted.

"Not you too?" Atlas sighed. "Really? I wonder if I'll get any rest tonight between the two of you."

 **Hours later...**

Atlas rolled over on the bed and looked down at Astro as he lay playing with a Rubik's cube on an air mattress. "You didn't have to give up your bed. This is your room after all."

"You're a guest...it's expected to make sure you're comfortable." Astro replied. "Hah! Finally got it." He said as he held up the finished cube. "I turned off all my logic functions to make this challenging. Only took me an hour to finish it."

The red boy bot shook his head. "You are so amusing at times...why go through all the trouble? You could have figured that out in seconds."

Astro quickly scrambled the cube and solved it in five seconds. "Like that? And then I'd sit here totally board to death until I found something else to solve. After an hour I'd have nothing left and then I'd just sit here with no purpose."

Atlas lay down curiously hugging the pillow which Astro found interesting..."Hey?" Atlas asked. "Do you turn everything off when you power down for the night?"

Astro shook his head. "No...I like to be aware of things. I usually scan around like three times during the night...you know...roll around and shift in bed?"

Atlas rolled on his side..."me too...I can't go "cold iron" (The term for a robot powered down to the battery reserves) I'm to nervous to do it."

Astro lay on his back and sighed..."Do you remember that fight where you threw me in a trash dumpster?"

Atlas thought then looked mournful..."I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Astro replied. "You're sorry?"

Atlas sat up. "It was never my intention to beat you up that severely...But I couldn't control the Omega Factor...I really wasn't myself...long story."

Astro smiled. "It's hard for me to hold a grudge...any way...I couldn't use my radio, my insides were messed up, my battery was really low, my reserve power cell was shot and I thought my processor was going to fail...you know what happens when the processor fails..."

"Yeah..." Atlas replied playing with his hands. "The chances of recovering any memory go poof."

"There's a lot to think about...I thought about the Doctor...Reno...my friends...my sister...then I just started talking to god." Astro said.

Atlas frowned. "Really? I'd be thinking of a way out, not wasting my time talking to something that doesn't reply."

"I know to you it sounds stupid." Astro said. "But you know? I didn't mind it so much that my processor might fail...after I just talked...I felt...ok..."

Atlas hugged the pillow..."So what did you and Mister Snuffle-upi-cus talk about?"

"Now you're being mean." Astro huffed.

"You can't see him, he doesn't talk back, he's an imaginary friend ok? Atlas snickered.

Astro patted his chest as he lay on his back..."I said..."I don't know what you think about me but if you kinda like me? Can you help me? I hope you like robots and you think we do good things." Guess what happened?"

"You levitated out of the dumpster." Atlas snickered.

"Five minutes later." Astro said. "A guy who was dumpster diving pulled me out. He called Reno and I was on my way home. Now go ahead and say..."Duh coincidence stupid."

"Exactly." Atlas huffed. "If there was a god and he's all powerful? He would have just zapped you back to the ministry. What happened was just a case of random events which are totally unrelated to one another."

Atlas rolled on the bed. "Now quit blabbing and go to bed. The faster I win the bet, the faster you become my slave."

Astro sat smiling. "You saying sorry is a mark of weakness you know? At least that's from your perspective..."

"Shut up and go to bed?" Atlas huffed. "Oh yeah...be sure to pray, I'm sure it will please mister Snuffle-up-pic-us."

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Astro Boy

Which God is which?

An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction

By Dan rush

Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"

Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.

 **Chapter 2**

Next Morning

Astro's room

Astro woke up to see Atlas sitting at his study desk reading one of the library books, which after a few minutes the red boy bot placed to the side atop one of the stacks he'd made separate from other books...

"Hi." Astro said as he sat up. "When did you get up?"

"Two hours ago." Atlas replied as he grabbed the book he just dropped. "Religions based on eternal universal energy? Nope."

"And no why?" Astro asked.

"For the Universe to be a god? First it has to have a personality and second it has to be eternal. The universe was proven to be finite a century ago and energy is not eternal because that would violate the laws of thermal dynamics and entropy. Energy does not renew itself, so...religions of the solar system? Nope. Crystals? Nope.

Astro got up from his air mattress and snatched a book from Atlas's hand. "Breakfast. My mom's going to cook it."

"As long as its' pancakes with linseed oil." Atlas replied. "I find that linseed is best for my joints." Reaching for his clothes, Atlas pulled off his pajama top and looked at it. "Cartoon animals? Aren't you too advanced for such childish things?"

Astro snickered back. "Should I tell my family about...Pookie?"

"What are you talking about?" Atlas snorted.

"That big teddy bear of yours?" Astro replied smiling. "The one I saw you hugging in that laundry mat last month? The way you were giving it attention? I swear you're dating it."

Atlas threw a swift hand out and snatched Astro by his neck!..."You so much as peep about "Pookie" to anyone? I promise I will totally destroy you and hang your guts from the City Hall flagpole...you dig?"

Astro smirked back. "You make a lovely couple."

Atlas dropped Astro on the floor. "Let's just eat...working towards a victory makes me famished."

"Such confidence." Astro snickered. "You still haven't proven god doesn't exist yet."

"Hmph...Seeing what I've studied so far? My theory about humans cooking god up seems pretty solid." Atlas replied as the two boys walked into the dining room where Astro's parents and Zoran were already sitting...

"Morning." Astro said cheerfully.

"Wow...their clothes aren't torn to shreds? There's been an evolutionary moment in history." Zoran snorted.

"If you turn into a toaster, it will be an evolutionary victory." Atlas huffed back. "Fist bump?" He said to Astro.

"Nice." Astro replied.

"I don't much appreciate your tone at our table young man." Astro father said sternly. "You're lucky Astro invited you...otherwise? You'd be out of here with a dented behind."

Atlas was about to reply when Astro fist bumped his side. "Uh...well...I never turn from a challenge."

"Have you found out anything on god big brother?" Zoran asked.

"So far? We've found out a lot of things that aren't true." Astro replied. "Atlas cleaned a whole bunch of beliefs out yesterday? But he still harps over the three laws. I almost got him to admit god's real."

"Not at all." Atlas huffed. "I agreed that humans couldn't possibly come up with a universal moral standard...that's all. Certainly not on their own as individuals."

Mrs Atom put a plate of pancakes in front of Atlas and he threw up his hand. "No more talking...pancakes take priority."

Sachiko Atom brooded at Atlas. "Since you're here Atlas? Explain to me why you have such a dislike of my son? Why I shouldn't call the police on you?"

Atlas looked up with oil drool flowing from his pancake filled mouth then he looked at Astro...

"You better answer her Atlas...she's pretty deadly with a belt." Astro said as he crosed his arms and closed his eyes.

Atlas swallowed the mouthfull and wiped his lips..."I don't exactly "hate" him..." Atlas gave Astro a brooding side glance..."All right...sigh...he annoyed me to death because he was such a stupid human hugging sap when I first came to Metro City."

"Sheesh...no love." Astro joked.

"I'm telling the story so shut up." Atlas replied. "Any way? I...well I was different when I first came here. I wanted to dominate Metro City and put the humans in their places..."

"Cages...not places." Astro snickered.

"Will you let me tell it?" Atlas snorted. "Places...so I thought...if I could beat the robot I believed Metro City loved the most? Then I'd get the fear required to make all the humans subserviant to me. Then every robot would know we no longer had to suffer the abuses of the out of control, lawless, hypocrite fleshies."

Sachiko lightly banged the table. "I will not allow racism at this table or in my home young man!"

Atlas sighed..."Ok...ok...out of control, lawless, hypocrite humans. I was bound and determined to put on Astro all the pain and suffering inflicted on me. Problem is... I can't get him to hate me enough to put up a good fight."

"I don't have a reason to fight you." Astro replied.

"I haven't given you enough cause?" Atlas said throwing his hands out.

"You tried kidnapping me and got your butt kicked." Zoran butted in. "Mighty Atlas whipped by a girl. Lucky for you I didn't put that on Facebook huh?"

"Hmph! You got lucky." Atlas replied pursing his lips.

Father Atom scratched his head. "You two seem to fight less and less these days."

Atlas looked to the side. "I...I respect Astro now...grudging respect. You're still a stupid, sappy, human hugger. If I wasn't here to counter-balance your weak spots? The humans would walk all over us and rape us for car parts."

Everyone chuckled.

"I'm serious! He's too trusting! Humans can't be taken at their word at all which is why you have to scan everything from them like a hawk...like this Robot Rights Act; no piece of paper is good unless its' enforced and giddy going about all happy and blind in bliss is a good way to get you killed!"

Astro replied. "And you're way has you a lot of friends doesn't it?" Astro poked Atlas off the head. "Admit it...if you didn't have me around to beat up? You'd have no friends."

"Hmph." Atlas huffed back. "I can get along quite well without you...which won't be long since I'm going to win out contest."

Astro smiled as Atlas finished his breakfast and got up. "Excuse me...Mrs Atom? The pancakes were to short circuit for...awesome. Now If I can? I want to go back up stairs so I can win my bet."

Astro sat with his head in his hands still smiling. "The only thing I see out of this is a draw...at which time we'll probably crash out of my bedroom window and beat each other to snot piles on the lawn like always."

Zoran frowned. "I'll have Reno make up his repair kits. Maybe if he puts your heads inside your butts, you two cave dwelling misfits will learn to stop being dumb."

Astro threw Zoran a kiss..."Love you too sis."

"When you find god's address big brother? I want it ok?" Zoran yelled as Astro reached the top of the stairs.

"If it's listed I will." Astro replied. He turned to see Atlas laughing. "What?"

"Giggles"..."We should send her on a wild goose chase all over Japan..." "Snort...giggles" "You should call Toshiro and the Imperial Palace? "giggles" and send her there to chew him out. "Giggles"

"I'm not going to torture the Emperor of Japan." Astro replied. "You did eliminate him too didn't you?"

"Well duh." Atlas replied as they walked back into the room. "You know? I just realized that this room is a pig stye from hell of its' own right...look at this mess? Oil cans all over the place, dirty clothes everywhere, socks on the television set? You want to start a fire in here?"

"It's to offset a too orderly life." Astro said smiling. "I don't want to be a neat freak all the time."

"I know but show some pride...I mean...you are important to us robots and all." Atlas said as he dropped a pair of dirty socks into a nearby hamper.

"Huh? Did you say I'm important?" Asto asked.

"Well...publicity yes." Atlas said with his hands behind his back as if to accent his seriousness. "While I might despise you somewhat, I am aware that you are the visible face of robots in Metro City and while I'm not bashing your chasis, you do have an image to uphold That gives us all some possitive press."

Astro smiled. "Coming from you? That's very nice."

Atlas poked a finger in Astro's face. "Enjoy it. I will make you my subordinant very soon."

 **An hour later...**

"Wicca? Stupid. Druidism? Stupid. Celtic spiritualism? Stupid." Atlas huffed as he tossed book by book behind him into the growing pile. "Worshiping the Earth, the Planets, the Stars, Animals, Plants, re-encarnation...redicuolous."

Astro took one of the books and skimmed through it..."More worship of finite things and false energy huh?"

God is supposed to be a "being" not a "force" or "energy". I can't believe there are humans worshiping Star Wars.

Astro pulled a comic book out of a nearby box..."Superman's Jewish."

"What?" Atlas replied with a cocked head.

"Yeah." Astro said as he pointed around the comic book. "The "S" on his chest is a Kaballah Jewish symbol. Jor-El, Kal-El, Kripton, General Zod are all Hebrew names. He's what you call a Jewish Golum.

"So in a sense you and I and all robots are Golums too. I mean, we have programming not souls." Atlas said as he sat on Astro's bed.

"I'm not so sure." Astro replied as he sat at his desk. "I always thought that robots like you and I or Zoran and my parents would learn so much in the span of time that eventually our programming would be so over-wrote that in a sense we'd actually have a soul of our own because our accumulated knowledge would become self-regenerating and thus the need for a nase programming logrythem would be phased to non-existance."

Atlas sat scratching his head..."And here I thought you were too simple minded."

"You haven't seen anything yet." Astro said as he grabbed another book. "We're coming into more sensitive subjects that really need scrutiny...like Islam."

 **Noon...**

Atlas paced about the room dividing himself between a book and his processor trolling through the internet while Astro scanned over a Q'ran. The red boy bot sat on the floor and brooded deeply...

"What...a...mess..." He said frowning. "No wonder there's so much violence."

Astro looked up. "You have factions inside factions, tribes against tribes... Sunis against Shiahs. You have puritans who say you can't change the Q'ran and liberals who say you can..."

Atlas raised a finger. "The puritans are right."

"How can you say that?" Astro huffed. "It's the puritan Islamists that are causing all the violence! "Kill the unbeliever or make them pay the religious tax" "A woman is worth only a fourth of a man." That's barbaric."

Atlas crossed his arms. "If they're true that the Q'ran is god's word then man can't change it to suit his ways...given how messed up humans are as we know them. The puritan Islamists are right and they kill Muslims all the time."

Astro frowned. "But it's not right what they do."

"I agree...which invalidates Islam all together." Atlas replied. "You can't reform Islam. In order to do that, you have to re-write the Q'ran which would be blasphamy. Any way...The very way Mohammad came up with the whole thing by himself makes me think it's a lie to start with. Mohammad wasn't a moral human at all, he wasn't perfect, he was wicked all through his life, he ordered people killed...logically from "our" understanding as robots...he could never have crafted a moral religion and the Q'ran is so full of contradictions and crazy concepts...and one more thing?"

"He was illiterate." Astro replied. "Which might explain why the Q'ran is in such a confusing mess. Even in Japanese it's hard to read."

Atlas put the book in his hand aside. "Nope."

Astro picked up another book. "Universalist Unitarianism."

Atlas walked up, took the book and put it on the pile..."Nope."

"But we didn't even look at it yet." Astro said with a smirk.

"Nope." Atlas replied. "They don't even believe in a god to start with. All they do is pull things from different religions and say they're good things humans should live by. And many of them believe in Vodoo, witchcraft and force energy."

"Looks like you're chances are getting whittled away fast huh?" Atlas snickered.

"You still have to prove god doesn't exist...which is impossible even for a robot." Astro replied. He then took a deep breath and looked out the window. "You wanna get out of here for a few hours?"

"What's your plan?" Atlas asked.

Astro walked to his closet and pulled out a skateboard. "How good are you on one of these?"

Atlas snorted. "That's a waste of better time."

"Chicken." Astro snickered in his face.

"I'll give you chicken." Atlas replied frowning as he followed Astro out of the room.

End of chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Astro Boy

Which God is which?

An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction

By Dan rush

Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"

Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.

 **Chapter 3**

 **12:30am**

" **MC Skates park"**

Metro Central Park

"Boof!" Atlas landed on his stomach at the bottom of the ramp as Astro flew by him up the incline, ballanced the tip of the skateboard on the rim of the dip, ballanced himself on the other end like a show off for a split second then came flying by Atlas again as he stood up...and promptly kicked Astro's board from under him on his return...

"Serves you right for being mean." Atlas snickered as Astro sat up from his spill...

"Are you using all your sensors?" Astro snorted. "You're hiding just so you can have an excuse to be a jerk."

"Uh uh..." Atlas said shaking his head. "I truly can't do this to save my butt. I am... skateboard non-inclined."

"You can fly but you can't skate...I find that impossible." Astro huffed as he pushed Atlas's board into his chest.

"Seriously Astro...I can't." Atlas huffed. "You probably can do it because obviously you have self calibration...something my builder decided not to install as an option."

Astro gazed at Atlas for a moment then reached for his chest. "Lemme see if I can set you up..."

Atlas slapped Astro's hands away. "Don't touch me?"

"You want to learn how to sakeboard or not?" Astro asked.

"You might gain advantages or try some form a sabotage." Atlas huffed.

"Tsk!...give me a break?" Astro fussed. "I'm not that dumb to try...you'd know, now let me see your chest monitor..."

Atlas pursed his lips as he clicked his chest door open. "You get slippery fingers and so help you..."

"Blah, blah, blah...shut up?" Astro snorted as he got on his knees to better access the operation panel. "When was the last time you had a proper check up?" Astro asked as he tapped on the small keyboard. "All my functions now are touch screen. You're using a confusing O.S. And your insides are filthy..."

Atlas batted Astro off the head. "Are you helping me or ridiculing me?!"

"I don't think being concerned about you is ridicule Atlas." Astro huffed back. "You need a cleaning and some updates...I should ask Reno to look at you."

"No human is going to lay their filthy hands on me." Atlas snorted as Astro stood up.

"I think I have you all set up...minus a few tweeks. And Reno's not a bad guy...for a human." Astro gave Atlas a light punch in the chest. "Now let's see if I got it right?"

 **15 minutes later...**

Astro sat on the lip of the half-moon and watched Atlas work back and forth until he came up the incline flipped off his skateboard and landed on his backside to a sliding stop..."You're good at programming." He said as he sat on the lip. "So...back to our contest...if god exists? Then why won't he just come right out and show himself?"

Atlas stood up..."Hey GOD! Show yourself! I want to know why you made humans so messed up! Hello?!" Atlas mocked a hand to his ear then sat down..."See? Nothing."

Astro shook his head and pulled a 1000 yen note from a pocket. "Foop foop" If I could convince people that this 1000 yen bill was a dollar bill? I'd probably be rich."

Atlas cocked his head. "What kind of stupid example is that?"

"I don't think god wants to make anything "too easy" like just popping up out of the blue and saying "Yo! It's me!"...because he probably knows a few people will pull the same stunt? Like those "KEHL" guys remember?"

Atlas frowned..."The Keep Earth Human League"...they had that guru guy who looked like a bad cross between Elvis and a Budah? Ugh...and people followed that guy!"

"Besides that." Astro snickered. "Why would god listen to a little dumb ass like you?"

Atlas reached out and snatched Astro by his shirt..."You take that back!"

"But really Atlas?" Astro said with his hands up. "You think god is really going to show himself just because some loud mouth joe blow flaps his lips?"

Atlas thought..."If I were all powerful? I'd probably shoot a lightening bolt up the guy's butt."

Astro skitted back a few feet. "Please don't be that stupid? I don't want to be in the line of fire."

Atlas stood up and threw his board over a shoulder. "Sacrificing virgins to volcanoes."

"Now that's stupid." Astro replied. "Unless...no, that would deffinately not work out."

"How could you think about your sister like that?" Atlas snorted.

"You haven't spent enough time yet." Astro replied. "Fell like going back yet?"

"If your Mom's cooking dinner? Jeeyah...duh..." Atlas replied as he lit up his rocket boots..."Wanna do some air dragging?"

"I don't want to encure the wrath of the police." Astro replied scratching his head.

"You're a wuss." Atlas snorted. "I'll spread it through your school that you're a super wuss."

Astro smirked. "Hope you don't hit a highway sign chasing my sparks?"

 **1:45pm**

Atom House

Father Atom was coming into the living room to take a break from working on the room addition when Atlas came running through the front door and bounded up the stairs to Astro's room!

"What the?!" Father Atom gasped as his son came in and closed the front door behind him...

"Young man! What is going on?!" Father Atom yelped.

Astro shooshed him for a moment before a heavy knock on the door caused him to turn around and open it to the two police officers standing outside...

"Hi Sargent Deutadi!" Astro said a little excited as he rubbed his head. "You're probably wondering what I'm thinking huh?"

"Which way did he go and why were you chasing him?" Deutadi huffed back. "Did he come into the house?"

Astro looked around. "I think he did...and he flew out the window upstairs..." Astro turned to Zoran who was standing at the top of the steps...

"Oh yeah! Right past my face and right out the window." She said pointing.

Father Atom walked up. "Will someone tell me what's going on?"

Deutadi smirked. "Apparently...Astro was chasing Atlas at high speed through the city and through the Ginza which caused more than a little miss in their wake. What brought this on Astro?"

Astro frowned. "He broke my skateboard."

"Oh he did? Then why didn't you call us and file a report?" Deutadi asked.

"Because he insulted my family and I lost my cool." Astro replied rubbing his foot over the floor.

"Sigh...and here I thought you had good self control. This is the fourth time you've let this little miscreant sucker you into a piss match Astro...I am really disapointed in you. You understand this will cause a little problem with the ministry right?" Deutadi warned.

"Yes sir." Astro replied with a sad face. "I'm sorry."

Deutadi bounced a finger off Astro's head. "I think your father can handle things from here? I want a report filed with us by the end of the day...do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Astro replied.

When Deutadi was gone...Father Atom stood brooding over his son. "Now...what was the real story? And you wonder why I sometimes nickname you "fudge" huh?"

Astro played with his fingers. "He...broke my skateboard when I didn't want to "drag" with him...then he called me a pussy." 

"Uh huh...a likely cover story." Father Atom turned to the stairs. "ATLAS?! YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE NOW YOUNG MAN!"

Father Atom turned to Astro..."I want your x-box...your television...your stereo and anything else you have for amusement down here now."

Astro slinked away as Atlas walked up and Father Atom pointed..."Get over here."

Atlas stood as if he were the boss...which quickly ended when Father Atom snatched him by an arm, threw him over his lap and spanked him a few times with an electrically charged force powerful enough to leave burn marks on Atlas's rumps...

"I hope that sinks in?" Father Atom snorted. "You and I are going to the Ginza and you will personally appologize to every store owner you offended with your little stunt. And don't worry...Astro will be right next to you."

Atlas frowned. "You have no right to spank me!"

Father Atom prepared to give another round. "You want to open your fat little trap again young man?"

"Ok! Ok!" Atlas yelped..."Sheesh...we were just having a little fun. No one got hurt."

"Be fortunate I'm understanding of my son Atlas or you'd be in jail right now." Father Atom replied.

 **4pm**

Atom House

Astro flopped on his bed..."That! Was unpleasent! We should have been less stupid."

Atlas huffed..."Speak for yourself! You're not the one who got spanked like tender meat! The nerve of those people!" Atlas flopped on the floor. "Such indignity! We can't help it if we have mach cones following us when we fly."

Astro giggled..."You looked cute in that dress though. The one you ripped off the clothing rack when you weren't looking?"

"Oh blow it out your exhaust holes dufus!" Atlas snapped. "I will NEVER goad you again, do you hear me?! You're the one who pushed us to be all crazy!"

"Me?!" Astro yelped. "You broke my skateboard! I kept saying no but you didn't listen!"

"Saying that I'll eat your sparks is NOT no moron!" Atlas snapped back.

Astro pushed Atlas..."You're the moron!"

And with that...the fight was on! Zoran stomped out of her room just as Astro came flying out of his against a wall and was trying to charge back in when his sister tripped him..."UGH! QUIT IT YOU STUPID KNUCKLE DRAGGING MONKIES!" She screamed as Atlas caught Astro in a head lock...

"Well?" Atlas replied..."He started it."

"I did not!" Astro snapped. "Get off me you stupid dork!"

Zoran roughly threw them apart. "I don't suppose you two have gotten anywhere constructive as of yet on God? Stupid of me to even dare ask you two to do anything nice for me at all."

"Aw sis..." Astro replied with his hands out. "Look...we're both sorry...right Atlas?"

"You're a sorry piece of junk maybe?" Atlas snorted. "But yeah Zoran...we're sorry. And to be honest? There's no way for you to contact God save praying. His phone number is unlisted."

"We haven't even gotten through looking at every religion yet." Astro sighed. "There's so much to consider you know?"

Zoran sighed..."I wonder if robots are even worthy of god. From what Mauri-chan says...maybe we're no better than souless junk."

Atlas frowned. "How can you even dare accept the word of a stupid human?"

"That stupid human is my best friend." Zoran said pouting. "And she seems right. Humans are made by God and anything they make doesn't count."

Atlas stomped a foot. "That's enough of that crap!" He turned to Astro. "We're going to find out who God is and I'm giving him a big fat smack in the face."

"But you said..." Astro tried to remind Atlas.

"Oh screw what I said!" Atlas snapped back as he walked to the study desk and threw another book at Astro. "Let's get to work...I have a date with God to give him a piece of my mind."

Zoran smiled in approval. "That's the Atlas I like...mmmmmm...you are such a hunk!"

"Hey...what am I then?" Astro asked.

"You're just my dumb brother...now shut up and find God." Zoran commanded then she stomped out of the room.

Atlas giggled..."She told you."

"Oh shut up dufus!" Astro snapped back.

End of chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Astro Boy

Which God is which?

An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction

By Dan rush

Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"

Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.

 **Chapter 4**

 **8pm**

 **Astro's room**

Atlas lay on his stomach with his chin in his hands smiling pleasingly..."I want to stay here and get grounded more often. You know why?"

"Why?" Astro asked as he sat scanning through another book and browsing the internet.

"Because your mom can cook." Atlas sighed. "I've tried human foods in so many places but your mother can make such an awesome chicken pot pie. The taste is still very fresh in my memory."

"Well she cooked for a resturaunt in Daimachi before she met my Dad." Astro replied.

"I thought your parents were made for you and Zoran?" Atlas asked as he reached out to the study table and took another book.

"Uh...uh..." Astro said. "My mom and Dad met each other and then they both went through an overhaul at the ministry and Reno introduced them to us and my mom decided the whole thing."

Atlas cocked his head. "What's it like? Having a mother?"

"Soft." Astro replied. "I'm a huggy magnet."

"But you're smarter and more powerful than they are right?" Atlas asked.

"That's not a qualification when it comes to love." Astro replied. "You spend a minute being hugged upon by her? All the day's troubles go "feewwwoooo". Let me tell you Atlas...one time you got me so upset and frustraited, I came home balling rain in the house."

Atlas pursed his lips. "Why were you crying for me?"

"I felt I'd never get you to change from where you were going. You know how frustarted I got. I was afraid you'd end up destroyed. But...after my mom gave me a nice hug and kisses? Much better."

Astro skimmed through the book in his hands for a few minutes then blew a breath... "I'm reading "The God Dillusion" by Professor Richard Dawkins? Wow the God of the Bible is mean."

"Is he?" Atlas asked. "I thought Jesus was a nice guy? You realize Christianity believes God is three persons in one right?"

"That makes no sense." Astro replied. "Any way...Mister Dawkins has a lot against God...The flood...wiping out whole populations of people...blasting Sodom off the earth..."

"Humans can be wicked excessively." Atlas replied. "And who are they to tell God anything?"

"Yeah but..." Astro replied. "What gives God the right to wipe out a whole city?"

"Look who was telling me earlier about God being unquestionable and now who's a flaming hypocrite?" Atlas snoted.

"I didn't say God wasn't unquestionable." Astro replied crossing his arms.

"When we came back to the house and you told your Dad that we were "air dragging" and I gave him lip? What did your Dad do?" Atlas asked.

"He busted bolts in your ass." Astro replied.

"And I bet he's busted your butt more than once huh? Don't tell me you're always mister boy scout Astro?"

Astro scrunched his head into his shoulders..."Yeah...there have been times. Once I got so lippy? I swore. Big mistake. Could have played "Ride of the Valkarie" to the contacts and the smoking ruin of my behind."

"So...being disobediant get's punishment in return right?" Atlas said. "Now I understand God much better...my kind of guy."

Astro frowned at Atlas.

"Look...let me explain." Atlas said as he stood up. "Adam and Eve right? What does Mister Dawkins say about them?"

Astro flipped through the book. "He says God screwed them over and punished them because they didn't know right from wrong."

"What a load of crap." Atlas replied. "If you read the story? God made Adam and Eve just like him right? Which means they had his looks, his character and his mind though not "like gods" Divine beings, get the drift...which means they weren't stupid. They even said they understood about the whole "don't eat" thing and yet they did what they were not supposed to do then they flat out lied about it."

Astro picked up a bible..."I don't see that."

Atlas pointed. "Right there...Adam blamed Eve, Eve turned and blamed the snake. Typical stupid humans; when caught? Lie like crazy. So God tanned them real good, which is why I like him."

Astro frowned. "You like a mass murderer? He flooded the whole world."

"Are you really going to take the word of a human?" Atlas huffed as he took Dawkin's book and chucked it aside. "Once again? Who's bigger? Richard Dawkins or God?"

Astro pursed his lips..."God...but still..."

"And the whole world was corrupt for man had corrupted his way upon the Earth." That says the whole world was absolutely evil down to the bones and if you read it further even the animals were messed up so God saved Noah and a few animals because if he didn't...so much for robots, we wouldn't be here. Or...you and I would be some seriously powerful and dangerous killers ourselves."

"Where are you pulling all of this up?" Astro snorted.

"If you sit down and read it instead of listening to some human moron who toots his own horn, you might learn something. I mean look at this, this guy Dawkins spends more paper talking about his ten thousand stupid awards than anything factual." Atlas tapped Astro's forehead with a finger. "Read silly...not skim...read."

"Hmph." Astro snorted. "You're the one who complained I was looking for something that didn't exist."

"That was before I found out there was one place where humans don't get off being dumb." Atlas huffed back. "I guess you're going to tell me now that humans can't be as wicked as you think?"

"Certainly not beyond caring about." Astro said as he sat brooding.

Atlas cocked his head. "So now you're angry at me?"

"A little..." Astro replied. "You talked down to me like I was an idiot."

"Oh come on!" Atlas huffed. "I jump on you just a little and you get all pissy over it? You're usually not this thin skinned. All I said was you need to read everything carefully before you go off listening to some breying jackass human...you should know better than to put all your trust in any humans...save Reno and Kenichi Kennedy...those two I trust...a little bit more than most."

"Ok?" Astro said as he stood up and put his hands on his hips. "What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Did God just have cart blanche to wipe out cities with thousands of people without a trial?"

Atlas was silent for a moment as he search through the internet looking at both sides..."Yeah...he did...and they had a defense attourney too."

Astro looked through a bible. "No they didn't."

Atlas wrapped an arm around Astro's shoulders and pointed..."Yes they did. Abraham. He got God to agree that if he found just ten righteous people, he would spare the city. He didn't find any more than Lot and Lot was a messed up guy. The people of Sodom even threatened to kill him. They got a fair trial."

Atlas stood tapping a toe..."I really like this God. This is certainly a more accurate depiction of God than I've seen so far."

Astro sat frowning..."He doesn't register as being fair to me at all. I need some time to read more of this."

Atlas sat on the floor next to Astro..."Are you angry at me?"

"Well...yeah...given that you've said some very nasty things about humans." Astro replied brooding.

"When I said that humans belong in kennels? I said it because their whole history isn't very pleasing reading...or don't the junk piles where they've thrown many of our abused kin like worthless trash make you just a little upset?" Atlas asked.

Astro sighed. "Not all robots can be kept running forever."

"I know...but when we "die" for lack of a better term. Don't you think we deserve just a little respect? I've seen so few humans honestly give a damn about us when we "fail out"...save Officer Kanagawa...that picture of him holding "Buddy 260" makes me so upset."

Astro wiped an eye..."I know...I can't look at it."

"Seriously wounded and yet he refused to leave 260's side until help came for him first. Now that's a noble human I love...so rare." Atlas stood up and wiped his face. "Damn...now I'm gonna have a crying fit...why can't these stupid humans stop some of their silly crap! Makes me think it's good to have a God around...otherwise these stupid fat bags would blow the world up."

Astro sighed..."Maybe that's why we're here? To be a sort of breakwater so they can have as much time as they can to work things out?"

Atlas leaned against a wall. "I don't know why? You ask me trying to be nice to them is pointless. According to the Bible, they killed people who tried to warn them about their stupidity. They even nailed the Son of God to a tree...doesn't look like there's any hope for them so why bother being so nice?"

Astro stood up and rubbed his head. "You and I really are not far apart as you always thought...you don't think I don't get upset sometimes at humans? I don't sit in my room a lot and pound my bed till the stuffing flies out? Ask Zoran? One time I got so angry? I threw my television out the window and yelled a couple of swears...boy did the doctor tan my butt."

Atlas's mouth drooped. "You? Mister "Kum bai jah" kissy kissy huggies with humans? You got angry?"

"I said ask her didn't I?" Astro replied. "I even said they belong in cages. I agreed with you 100 percent...till I realized how close I was to becoming as wicked as you were when we first met."

Atlas shrugged..."Then why the hell keep trying? I told you their stupid, stubborn and brainless...why bother?"

"Why would God still care?" Astro replied. "Because they're worth it, that's why. They're worth it and by us caring about them and for them? We have our worth. I guess love isn't anything unless you're willing to put something to it that gives it meaning."

Astro thought for a moment. "I need to make a phone call." He said as he set his internal radio and brought up a number.

 **9pm**

 **First Baptist Church of Metro City**

"I got it." The white haired boy said as he picked up the phone. "You've reached the first Baptist Church of Metro City this is Soul Nagi speaking."

"Hey Soul?" Astro replied. "Is Pastor Ishihara there? I need to talk to him."

"Nope...he's in the states right now but Maka is here." Soul turned towards the living room. "Hey Maka? Astro's on the phone."

Maka came running and took the receiver. "Evening Astro."

"Hey Maka? I got a question to ask you. Remember that time you said a soul has a physical weight?"

"Yeah." Maka replied. "That was a scientific theory developed by a Doctor in the late 1800's but he never proved it out...why?"

"What's the weight he came up with? Just out of curiosity?" Astro asked

"21.7 grams." Maka replied..."why?"

Astro looked at Atlas..."I want you to weight me tomorrow against my known factory weight."

Maka smirked. "You're serious?"

"Yup." Astro replied

"Do you have a scale at the Ministry of Science that can measure that precise?" She asked.

"Ummmm...duh..." Astro replied. "Can you do it?"

"Tomorrow at 9am?" Maka asked. Astro could hear soul laughing behind her till she batted him off the head.

"Thanks a lot." Astro said as he put the phone down and watch Atlas smirk at him.

"You...have lost your bolts." Atlas huffed.

"It's just a thought." Astro replied. "Question is? What would you do if it does come out like I'm thinking? Then how will you react?"

Atlas snickered back. "I'll still think you're a human hugging dufus but now you're in need of an extra special ass whooping instead of the standard."

Astro put a finger in Atlas's face. "You're afraid it might actually happen? It'll prove god exists and that robots are capable of being given souls and then you'll have to surrender your little superiority complex huh?"

Atlas snorted. "Hmph...I'm pretty confident what's going to happen. I won't lose an hours sleep tonight."

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Astro Boy

Which God is which?

An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction

By Dan rush

Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"

Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.

 **Chapter 5**

 **Astro's room**

 **1:25am**

Astro felt the hands rubbing his chest and woke to see Atlas sitting by the air mattress. "Umm...hmph...it's 1 in the morning..." Astro said sleepishly.

"I know." Atlas replied. "Just a quick question...if you do have a soul? Does that mean I have one too?"

"How should I know?" Astro sighed..."I thought you said you'd sleep good tonight?"

"I was curious." Atlas replied. "I'll see you in the morning." Atlas crawed back into the bed and snuggled his teddy bear...

"Awww...you look so cute." Astro said smirking.

"Shut up." Atlas snapped back. "He helps me sleep ok?"

"Don't burn a hole in him." Astro said chuckling.

"Sick! You want me to pound you?!" Atlas yelped.

 **Astro's room**

 **2:10am**

"Ummm!...Atlas?! What?!" Astro huffed as Atlas woke him up again.

"If I do have a soul? Does that mean that if I'm bad, God will punish me?" Atlas asked.

"You're being bad right now by waking me up." Atlas huffed back. "Go back to bed?"

"I'm just curious, that's all." Atlas replied as he crawled back into the bed.

 **Astro's room**

 **2:45am**

"Atlas?! What now?!" Astro said as he sat up.

"Do you think I'm...I'm like a really bad robot, a semi-bad robot or a close shave robot?" Atlas asked as he played with his hands.

Astro sighed..."I think you're a good robot who could be a little bit better ok? Seriously Atlas? Stop having panic attacks and go to bed?"

Atlas climbed back onto the bed and snuggled his teddy bear. This time...Astro got up and leaned over the red boy bot..."Hey? Honestly? I think you're a good robot who sometimes goes over-board on the protection thing. But you're better today than you were when we first met...that's for sure."

Atlas turned over..."What would God think of me?"

Astro snickered..."You need to spend a few months in a whale like Jonah, I bet being covered in whale poop is a strong enough punishment to get your attention."

Atlas smirked..."Man...God does some messed up things to people."

"Like making them get into arguments with donkeys?" Astro said chuckling.

"What?" Atlas replied.

"Yeah...check it out in the book of Numbers." Astro said. "God created Shrek. Maybe he should Disney for copyright violation?"

"Astro?" Atlas asked. "Go back to sleep? You're so fricken annoying."

 **9am**

 **Ministry of Science**

Maka and Soul walked into the Ministry of Science and met Reno Takahashi as he was walking from the bathroom on the first floor...

"Hey Maka." Reno said waving. "So tell me again why I just ran Astro like dirty laundry over three times now?"

"Obviously he's blaming me for it huh?" Maka replied. "We're testing a theory or did he tell you the story yet?"

"If you want my opinion? I think he needs a good diagnostic examination." Reno replied. "Astro comes up with these funny theories all the time but this one? Thinking he might have a soul?"

"What's his factory weight right now? You didn't pre-weight him did you?" Make asked as they entered an elevator.

"No..." Reno replied. "He's had four modifications since Doctor Tenma built him. His base weight after the fourth mod is 68038.9 grams or 150 pounds."

Soul snickered. "Little fat ass needs a diet."

"Now...I know you're a pastor's daughter but what's Soul here? He's not family?" Reno asked as they all left the elevator.

"No." Maka replied. "Soul deals with demonic possessions...suicidal cases, drug addicts...people who need a strong spiritual intervention." Maka said.

"And no...I don't do the "smack in the face" Benny Hind thing." Soul replied. Talk about stupid quack jobs. I'm just good at laying out the truth to people and getting results. Just say I'm Narcan for the soul."

The three arrived at a room where Atlas was standing reading a bible while Astro stood in a pressure chamber going through a vacuuming and air cleaning session...

"I found it!" Atlas yelped. "You're right? This guy's in a chewing match with a donkey and there's an angel with a flaming sword standing right next to him? This is hilarious!"

"Oh that story?" Maka said as she walked up. "You'll find God loves to use animals. Lions, Bears, Camels..."

"Can even make a Camel go through the eye of a needle." Soul said.

Atlas smirked. "That sounds stupid. A camel going through the eye of a sewing needle?"

"Not the needle you're thinking about." Soul replied. "See...when King David captured Jerusalem, he re-designed the walls to defend the Holy of Holy at the city's center. The entry points in David's Jerusalem were just large enough for an unpacked camel to go through...what's called "a needle" hence the allegory about a rich man and heaven. See in order to enter Jerusalem...a rich man had to unpack his camel and leave his belongings outside to slip the camel through. Problem is, highwaymen could then easily steal his belongings so he had to chose between them or getting inside the city. Same thing with sins...you have to be willing to leave your sins behind and go un-packed into the city to go to the Holy of Holy."

Atlas scratched his head. "Why doesn't God just make it clear enough to understand?"

Maka replied. "Do you want to carry around a book that would weight as much as a city bus all day long?"

Astro was waving from the vacuum chamber..."Hi!"

Maka found the speaker-phone..."You ready yet?"

"I should be." Astro replied. "Reno drowned me in enough turco to wash a jumbo jet."

Reno hit a button which opened a sliding glass door to the sterile chamber where the scale pad sat. "Ok...step on the pad."

Astro walked onto the pad and stood still as Maka and Reno watched the scale on their side...

"Don't fidget Astro." Reno warned.

The numbers stabilized..."68,060.6" Reno said.

Maka looked at Soul then at Reno then at Atlas..."Astro? Get back into the air lock and get cleaned out again."

Maka looked at the number..."21.7 grams over-weight."

Atlas walked up and looked at the number. "Are you sure? Was he weighted with a full energy cell in the reactor?"

"He has a 100 percent fresh one now. I put it in this morning." Reno replied.

After ten minutes...Maka waved to Astro. "Go back on the scale."

She watched the numbers stabilize again..."68,060.6" Reno said.

Maka looked at Soul..."21.7 grams over-weight." She then motioned to Astro. "Come back in the air lock one more time and the next time you get on the scale? Lay down flat."

Ten more minutes went by and Maka motioned Astro to get into the chamber and lay on the scale pad...

The readings stablized again..."21.7 Grams over-weight"

Astro sat up for a moment scratching his head..."What if I went totally cold iron?"

"You can't." Reno warned. "To do that? We'd have to shut down your processor and if we do that?...We can't even copy it to install it later...you know that. You would be dead...as in dead dead no more Astro."

Astro pounded a hand with a fist. "Well how else will we know if I have a real soul if we don't try it?"

"Don't push your luck." Maka replied. "Don't tempt God..." She paced about the floor..."You've been scrubbed from head to toe, we've eliminated any other possibility and the numbers if we did remove anything significant should have changed...yet here's what we're faced with...it would seem...if the theory holds out from the three actual people who's deaths were recorded with the loss of that amount of weight...it would seem that somehow...Astro has a soul."

Atlas drooped..."What about me? Do I have one too?"

Make replied..."If we had your factory weight? We could tell. But given your own situation Atlas? We don't have a base weight to work with."

Atlas sat moping..."I'm confused...how can Astro have a soul? I thought only humans could have that and that you had to be born to have one. How did he get one?"

"Well...my Dad is a pastor and I'm not so its' not really my place to say anything with authority but I'll tell you what I do know. Sometimes God picks people for gifts and often he bestows abilities and powers on people, animals or things to accomplish his will and because he loves us humans a lot...and trust me, you must have some super awesome patience to deal with us humans..."

"God needs super Tylanol." Atlas said.

"Well..." Maka said as she looked at Astro. "Humans built robots at first because they felt robots could be good helpers and there's a few robots who...you might call... have a super rarity uncommon to their peers. I'd say God decided that Astro's quite a robot worthy of a little extra boost."

Astro came out of the chamber looking at how Atlas looked sad..."I wonder... if I'm worthy?" Atlas said sulking.

Astro wrapped an arm around Atlas's shoulders and gave him a hug. "You're more than worthy for me to call you my friend."

Atlas pushed him away for a moment..."Cut it out..."sniff"

Astro smiled. "You big cry baby...I'll be shocked if you don't have a soul because you care way too much not too."

Atlas fell back into a big hug as Astro turned to Maka..."Hey? Can I ask you a favor?"

 **Friday Morning**

 **First Baptist Church of Metro City**

Maka and Soul stood outside welcoming people as they came to the door, among them Mauri-chan and her parents...

"We're only here because my daughter said she was curious." Umichika snorted. "What is this all about?"

"You'll find out when you take your seat Sir." Maka replied. "And please? Don't make up your mind until you sit through it all?"

As they entered the church, Mauri saw Zoran and ran towards her..."Mauri! You stay away from that robot!"

Mauri-chan turned to give her father a sneer then turned to give Zoran a little light punch on the shoulder..."I've missed playing with you."

"I've missed you too." Zoran replied.

Umichika stomped up snorting. "Mauri! Did you hear me tell you..."

"Yes I did Daddy!" Mauri huffed. "About a hundred times! What's wrong with me playing with Zoran? Is she some sort of stupid doomsday device?!" Mauri-chan fumbled with Zoran's clothes..."Gee, I don't see a bomb?...Daddy? Go sit down and stop being a rock?"

Umichika was shocked. "Young lady..."

Suddenly...Father Atom stood up. "Umichika? Why are you trying to put grudges between our children? It seems your daughter's more intelligent then you...let her make her own choices will you and stop smothering her to death! Now sit down and be respectful."

Umichika wisely sat as Maka came walking up to the podium at the front of the church...

"Welcome everyone...this is an extraordinary service today because...well something was found out a few days back which might be a little shocking but...I'll let our guest speaker tell you himself...Astro?" Maka motioned Astro to come up and stand at the podium...till he realized that he couldn't be seen behind it...

"I uh? Didn't know your dad was a giant there Maka?" Astro said giggling which got the crowd laughing and Atlas snickering...

"We didn't know you were a munchkin dufus!" Atlas snapped.

Once Astro got a soap box to stand on, he waved a finger at Atlas. "You better not heckle me through this!"

"You better not be boring!" Atlas replied, enlisting laughs.

Astro smiled and rubbed his head. "Well...uh...hi everybody...um...this whole thing came about because of a little argument between my Sister Zoran and her best friend Mauri-Chan...which they seemed to have forgotten since they're fooling around in the front row!"

Zoran froze with a rubber ball bouncing among the jacks spread in the floor...

"Put those away?" Astro ordered. "Just like a little sister...asks me to solve a question and follows her A.D.D."

"Just like an older brother." Zoran replied. "When he's not a knuckle banging cave man, he's a tyrant!"

Astro waited a few minutes till Zoran settled down in her seat. "Are we done? Can I keep going? Thank you...ummmm..."

… **."In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.**

 **And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that [it was] good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.**

 **And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters**

 **which [were] under the firmament from the waters which [were] above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.**

 **And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so. And God called the dry [land]**

 **Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that [it was] good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, [and] the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed [is] in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after**

 **his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.**

"As I said before...this whole thing started with an argument between my little sister and her best friend. My sister Zoran asked me to find God so she could give him a piece of her mind...my little sister is really head strong so I didn't dare tell her no."

"Some people say we robots are just a bunch of wires and bolts and screws and computer chips with a program which tells us what to do. I guess that's an accurate assumption yet I read those passages from Genesis because there's a little reminder in there that we robots are made from the minerals of the earth and those minerals were made by God."

"I also read those passages because it just so happens that those same passages were spoken by three humans aboard a tiny space capsule as it became the first human creation to round the moon...which I remind you all that in some ways that capsule was a primitive...well...rather simple robot, built by humans out of the minerals created by God."

"Humans seem to believe in God. If they did not then you wouldn't have had so many people glued to the televisions for that broadcast...as old as it is now...nor had so many humans been shown on television as if they were praying. What really surprises me when I watch the films from the old mission control? There among all the slide rules and mounds of papers written full of numbers and equations and all the scientists who you might think were not very keen on the idea of God? There sure were a lot of people praying for three humans floating in space...and about as many praying the capsule with the IQ of a coffee maker didn't get suddenly stupid."

"When humans made us robots...you didn't set out to make us terminators or predator drones or spooky things that pop out of space ships with glowing red eyes."

"That's stupid." Atlas snickered. "At least give the guy some personality."

"Atlas?" Astro warned. "You're breaking my stride?"

"What stride? I'm trying not to nod off here...zzzzzzzz...sawing logs."

People laughed.

"And I wish you'd have built more of us with a little respect for others?" Astro said. "When humans made robots, you wanted us to be helpers, to make life easier and better for you. It just so happens that strangely? You decided to use a lot from this book in our programming...in fact...about oh...99 percent if I did the math right."

"You can't even tie a shoe right." Zoran snickered.

"Moon boots don't have shoe laces fancy Nancy." Astro replied. "Will you two let me finish?"

"Sigh"...So...my little sister Zoran wanted to find out where God lives so she could give him a piece of her mind...Atlas? Now we all know Atlas don't we? He... wants to graffiti tag heaven with his sore displeasure."

"We robots can't deny the fact that our creators, you humans, give us fits. You fill our heads with what you think is all the right things while none of you seem capable of doing all the right things you program us with. Me and Atlas have had our share of fist fights, arguments and demolition derbies...trust me we're not cheep...over you humans and some of the stupid things you do. I've had Atlas over my house the last few nights trying to find God, where he lives and how we could write him a little complaint letter to ask him to kindly do a sort of product safety recall to fix a few of you...ok...lots of you because you're broke and you're kinda virus infected."

People started to grumble...

"Now before you start running for Home Depot and grabbing pitch forks and torches? Hear me out?"

Astro stepped from the podum and walked to the front row of seats..."I'm a product of love. One time a man lost the only child he ever had, it broke his heart. So in desperation...and really not thinking clearly...he made me and in doing so he put all the things about his own son into my processor. Turns out Tobby Tenma loved people, loved robots, loved animals and loved God...mmmmm...about more than my arms stretched out...that's a lot of love."

"God seems to love humans so much that he doesn't quit...he's stubborn. Tobby loved robots so much? He stood up to his Dad, the sad thing is...because he loved robots so much? He walked out on his Dad, wasn't looking where he was going and he lost his life. When you're willing to lose your life because you love something or someone so much that you don't care about yourself? I guess a little God rubbed off on you didn't it?"

"Well?...I guess I'm like that paper you use to make rubbings of things on...because all that love and stubbornness was thrown into me. And though most of you humans are at times stubborn, stupid, clumsy, crazy and absolutely make me want to bounce my head off the backstop of a basketball net sometimes?...I love you so much, I'm more than willing to throw my life away to save any one of you and do you know why?"

The church was silent.

"I'm thankful...I'm very thankful. I thank God for making everything...which must have been a lot of work and he only took one day off...I've seen humans sue employers to get an hour off...maybe they should be thankful to have a job? I'm thankful for every atom that makes me?...me. I'm thankful I can hear myself talk, I'm thankful I can dance...well...sort of dance."

(laughter)

"I'm thankful for my parents, my little sister, my school friends...um...yeah, even thankful for that smirky trouble-maker named Atlas..."

"Better be." Atlas huffed. "If I wasn't here, you'd be a desk calculator."

(laughter)

"God probably thought I needed a challenge." Astro said as he sat down. "I'm even thankful for my creator...or my "Dad" as some of you know...I guess God gave me something else that's important besides being thankful...how to forgive and how to love. I love my "Dad"...I know he's never been a nice "Dad"...I know he's "a few things" as some would say..."Short of a full deck" but you know? I love him and I forgive him because I got all that from him, from all of you and from God...I really don't think people are thankful enough for all their blessed with...I know more than a few robots who are just like that too."

Astro stood for a moment..."Wow...I'm really running the race track huh? Let me get to the point of all this..."

"About time dufus!" Atlas snapped.

Zoran snatched an ear and pulled..."Sit down?"

"Ouch! He's rambling! Just like a typical human infected bot." Atlas sat with Zoran steaming at him.

"Please don't make me hurt you in here? You're degrading my image of you." Zoran warned with a shaking fist.

Astro shook his head. "I promise I won't take more time...Atlas needs his binkie"

(laughter)

Astro took out a piece of paper..."So to answer my Sister's question...Sorry sis...I don't have a physical address so you can talk to God but you can write him a letter or just talk to him and let him know how you feel. Sometimes his answers are clear... sometimes not so clear...often they don't come back the way you want them to...most of time? It kinda takes a while. So...I wrote God a letter before I came here and I'd like to share it with you..."

"Ahem!..."

"Four score and seven robots ago...our forefather Hugo..."

"Smack!" Zoran smacked Atlas off the head. "Will you cut it out?!"

"I was just setting the stage for the snooze fest!" Atlas replied.

Astro laughed..."You're really risking your soul there Atlas."

"Just get on with it?" Atlas replied. "And if you get all soupy and sobby? I'm out of here...at least keep some dignity?"

Astro paused a little before he started.

"Dear God...This morning I found out that you gave me a soul...thank you Maka and Soul for confirming that fact. I'm just a collection of aluminum, steel, wires and computer chips and to be honest? I didn't think such a thing could happen...though I always wished it would because I'm sort of a Pinocchio fan."

"I'm a little over-whelmed about this, I mean, why? I never considered myself anything special at all...I don't have a big head...and if my sister says I do? She's proof that robots can lie...but, I love her very much...which is why when she asked me to find you? Well it wasn't easy. I have a hundred questions I'd like to ask you myself...like Atlas's number one question? Why are humans defective and why won't you do a recall?"

"I wanted to ask that big question...and it took a while for the answer to come out clearly...that's why robots are here. Though humans have been somewhat disappointing to you in certain ways? Sometimes they've used the brains and talents you gave them to do some seriously stupid things. There are the bright spots where they do something that best reflects how much you love them for all their faults...which is why I'm standing here instead of making toast."

"You care about and love humans so much for all their faults that you told them through their intelligence and creativity how to make us robots. And the best part? You told them to make robots not in the image of themselves but to make us as images of you and the best parts of that image is that no matter how humans treat us or how stupid they might act? We robots will always do what you do best...We'll forgive, we'll love and then we'll help them get back on their feet when they stumble and try to point them in the right direction. Having a soul is just a nice little gift I'll have to get used to having and I promise...I'll do the best I can with it. Thanks God...you're quite amazing...Amen."

People stood up and clapped as Mauri-chan looked at Zoran and pulled her into a big hug..."I'm sorry for being a stupid doe doe brain."

"You're not." Zoran replied. "You're an idiot in need of help."

"Speak for yourself lego set." Mauri-chan huffed. "You wanna go and see what kind of trouble we can get into?"

"Like you had to pull my arm off." Zoran snickered. The two girls jumped up and ran out of the church leaving Astro standing perplexed as Atlas walked up...

"I don't think she learned a thing from this?" Astro said frowning.

"She's a girl." Atlas replied. "Attention span of a gnat."

Umichika came walking up and offered his hand..."I want to apologize for being so wrong about you and saying such mean things about you and your family Astro."

Astro waved a hand..."You know me Sir...I never have grudges. But you still resemble a cockroach though."

"Now that I've thought about it? You were right after all." Umichika replied.

Atlas threw a hand around. "I wonder if God has a cockroach problem in heaven?"

Astro smirked at him. "Please don't tell me you're going to research that?"

"I never said anything of the sort." Atlas replied. "Cept the fact that your mother is a good cook and such a search may take a pretty long time to do at your house...if? If you're not a little chicken and want to risk another bet?"

Astro smirked back. "What's the bet?"

The End


End file.
